You know that feeling, right? That knee-jerk reaction when you're outside working on the yard or car on a nice day, totally focused on the task at hand and someone (other than one of your neighbors) comes along and starts talking to you?
It could be about buying some "money saving" coupons to a local new restaurant. Or it could be some multi-purpose cleaning supply guaranteed to save you money in the long run and is 100% safe for the environment. Now I don't mind the kids who sell cookies or candybars for a fundraiser at school.
I'm talking about the joker who rolls up to you. They're usually trying very hard to be presentable, but is betrayed by the filthy ass fingernails, the unironed khakis and tee shirt. They're usually very sweaty and talk too fast asking things about you and your family. They try in vain to make small conversation with you, usually of things they could give two shits about. Of course, you've got your head wrapped around whatever you're working on and the 100 other things next in line. You try to be polite and let them finish their spiel, but sometimes these guys are long winded and never let you get a word in. Or if they do it's becasue they've asked you some moronic question that doesn't actually let you speak "you DO like to save money, right?" Those assholes I could easily kick their head in and tell them to piss off.
BUT what do you do when you see THESE guys. Mormons on the Move! They travel in packs. They all dress alike. Clean. Conservative. Haircuts. Polite. On bicycles. When three came up to me yesterday while I was washing the cars and started chatting my knee-jerk reaction set in immediately. "Can we help you wash your car?" Whoa. Here's a sample dialogue...
"Can we help you wash your car?"
"uuuh no. I'm about finished, but thanks."
"Okay maybe next time. Plan on doing anything tonight?"
"Uuhhh just spend time with my family."
"GREAT! You have a big family?"
"Big enough for me right now."
"Well that's good. People don't spend enough time with their families. Are you familiar with the bible and its prophets?"
Oh boy. Here we go.
After a few minutes of chatting, the truth comes out. Do I want to be saved? Am I familiar with the bible? Religion is touchy as is and honestly I don't like strangers talking to me when I'm on a schedule to finish something, especially something personal like that. I politely, but firmly tell them I'm very busy and trying to finish before the sun goes down. But I my better judgement gets me straightened out.
These teenagers seem genuinely nice. It helps they offered to help before they intruded on my personal space. Now normally I'd say something short to get them off my ass. But seriously, there are far worse things these kids could be spreading around other than the Word of God. Drugs, venereal disease, and bullets to name a few. But they don't. It takes real balls and a certain level of comfort and confidence to talk to strangers, especially here in Orlando. So I back off. I thank them and tell them good luck. And no I don't know of anyone in the neighborhood that would like to and benefit from them about God.
Things could be worse.
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3 comments:
I thought they always traveled in twos!
This was great! Glad you took the high road.
My friend and I had a sit-down with some Jehova's witnesses in High School. That was an educational meeting. Why didn't my church tell us the end involved some King Ghidra monster with Jesus on it's back attacking the unsaved?
There's always safety in numbers, Jenny. At least in my 'hood. And Ed I believe King Ghidra IS a Mormon prophet - the Prophet of Human Doom and Destruction.
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